I have written several bios over the course of the year, and they show up in various places. It's a truly bizarre feeling to write about yourself in the third person, and I often find myself getting friends and family to help me. During one such call for help, my brilliant webcomic friend Lynn Lau sent me a bio. (Lynn would also be the infamous author of the Treasure Hunting stick figure cartoon.)
The bio is lovely. I adore it.
In each of the following paragraphs, written by Lynn, there is one lie. If you can spot all of them, I shall do something excellent for you. It might be a drabble. It might be a sneak peek of something I'm working on. It might be a card in the mail. It will change with my mood, and you'll never know unless you try... (and no, you may not send a million emails that guess EVERYTHING. No cheating. Unless you're a bona fide ninja.)
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JB McDonald was born in a hospital waiting room and was caught by a passing intern. She is an Aries, which explains her habit of pawing the ground and butting people in the head. As a kid, she went one-on-one with the neighborhood bully, who was much bigger and older than she was; she kicked his ass.
She carries her wallet, keys, and other nefarious objects around in a lunchbox. She has gone out in public dressed as Lara Croft, a metal-bikinied Princess Leia, and a hungover Stormtrooper. She has discussed gay porn and its mechanics while sitting behind an Artists' Alley table in Comic-Con.
JB is an expert animal trainer and behaviorist. She has handled all manners of creatures ranging from the feathered and furred to large studs of the equine variety. She has also handled large studs of the human variety, which has led to more than one incident of having to hose them down in her backyard. Her father usually tries not to notice; her mother, on the other hand, catcalls from the sidelines.
She moved to Canada for a few years before deciding that she really needed her sun and beaches, thank you very much. Now she delights the Californian populace by going about in teeny handkerchief-tops and shorts. Despite being a California girl, she does not like to surf. However, she loves it when you touch her feet, and will give you candy if you do.
JB writes. A lot. One of her breakthrough stories involved a nomadic mutant boy who killed and ate people. She has since gone on to write about man-sex. She is aided in this task by use of finger-puppets. She is fond of coffee, not so fond of cooking, and is looking for an assistant who can remedy both factors. You know what to do.
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Additional note: I can be reached at jennabreen.livejournal.com or jenna.b.mcdonald@gmail.com!